The Secret To Becoming More Comfortable With Yourself

I wish that I had a step by step list or a guide for this one but unfortunately, I do not. 

But when I said there was a secret to becoming more comfortable with yourself, I meant it. We constantly see articles and magazines with headlines about how to be more comfortable with ourselves or how to feel our best but realistically, how do they know what OUR personal best is? 

Photo Credit Wix

Everyone’s idea of what it means to be their most comfortable is going to be exponentially different from everyone else’s.

Recently, I have started to realize that maybe there is no exact way to accomplish this, but there definitely is a way we have not thought of yet. What if we stopped listening to the media’s generalized advice and started simply listening to our own? 

Think about how often the media’s perception has interfered with your own? This is an internal battle that I definitely struggle with. For instance, I’ll think that a picture I posted of myself is super cute but then I’ll see a famous model post a picture that will instantly make me question how cute I actually look. How can I not feel insecure when my picture gets 59 likes, and this person gets 103,456. 

This same image may then end up running in articles or on TV and while I understand I’m not famous, it makes me feel like I’m failing because I don’t look a certain way. I think the media makes us feel like if we’re not on the A list, then we’re just doing it wrong.

This may seem trivial, but this is my truth. 

Another example is when you feel really great about an accomplishment you’ve recently achieved. Maybe you just graduated university, had a baby, got married, got promoted or got a job. All of these things are AMAZING, but when the virtual world compares your accomplishments to that of celebrities, it can make you second guess your hard work. 

We’re often made to feel like what we do, how we look, or what we think is second rate because the media is drawing unrealistic comparisons, so how can we ever be our best or feel our most comfortable when these expectations are so unfair. Most of us are not striving to be famous, so why are we expected to live as if we are?

 It doesn’t make much sense – they exclude us from their inner circle but then expect us to conform to it. Talk about a serious double standard.

Just because I don’t look like a supermodel, have the “coolest” job or have the latest clothing does not mean I’m failing. It means I’m living life according to my own expectations, not the majority’s. 

So perhaps the secret is to live life according to your own rules. How can we achieve our best by following someone else’s advice? I don’t think we can.

No one knows you like you do, so give yourself your own expectations and create your own guidelines. 

For myself, I’ve found that the days I feel my absolute best or like I’m on top of the world, are the days where I don’t draw comparisons. 

I completely think that comparing and contrasting ourselves is normal but only to a certain degree. It becomes unhealthy when we find ourselves competing for likes, followers or recognition because it’s a total waste of time and at the end of the day, we don’t benefit from it. 

I feel my worst when I chase this recognition because almost always, I’ll compare myself to something else and feel badly about it. Why am I basing my personal satisfaction on what someone else is doing with their life? I don’t really know why, but I do know that it does not help me to feel my most comfortable, successful or happiest. 

What makes me feel the most comfortable is when I feel good about a decision, or accomplishment and then don’t second guess it. No one else can tell me what’s going to make me the happiest, and comparing myself to other people’s versions of success is also not making me feel any better. 

The secret to becoming more comfortable with yourself? Only take your own opinion to heart, and don’t second guess what you feel good about.